Don't take your life for granted

Coming from a mother of three awesome kids, do not take any life for granted. Things can change in a breath, less than a heartbeat. The recent event that occurred in our sleepy little town will rock our world for many years. You think you know someone. Parents never think their sweet little angel will ever do anything heinous. Maybe the typical teenager stupid crap. But to take another sweet little angel's life? Weather it is premeditated, intentional, accidental, for a girl, for a guy, for something stupid someone said, for any reason, there is absolutely no reason to let your temper get the best of you.

This sweet angel that has been a part of our world for over twelve years let emotions get to their temper. I am not going to say this is a girl or a boy, there is no need to get into the details. This angel was raised in a very nice neighborhood with a lovely family. This is not your stereotypical 'thug' family. This is a family with two parents who love one another, two beautiful siblings, pets, toys, limitless resources to build a wonderful life. Unfortunately, pot entered this little angel's life many years ago.

It seems like you can't turn around without hearing about the legalization of pot and how it's not dangerous. BULLSHIT. This drug will mess your brain up. Now, this doesn't go for everyone, but it will forever change how your brain works. Those kids that I went to school with that got high on the way to school every morning and was able to get straight A's, good for you. You may have a fine life now, family, money, etc., but just think of where you might be if parts of your brain were still intact? I've known way too many people who thought smoking pot was 'okay' and ended up in situations just like this. Something happened in this angel's brain from pot and it's not okay. This angel will most likely spend many years in prison. The crime committed was not okay, and it can't be taken back.

There are two victims, the one who performed the crime and the one who died from the crime. Two families lost their angels. One, they will never see again, one they will see behind bars. Neither family will see their angel walk across the stage to graduate high school. All Christmas's, birthday's, Easter's, summers, weekends, vacations, lives will ever be the same again.

It's frustrating to see people 'blame' this crime on the parents. The parents can only control so much. I've always been told to not be so controlling, stop hovering, don't snoop, stay off the kids social media. Kids will be kids. Teenagers need a little privacy. Well, believe me, teenagers have plenty of privacy, it's called being a teenager and not telling your parents anything. I know I'm the mean mom sometimes because I don't allow the kids to do the 'cool' thing, but I don't care. I don't want my angels being involved in anything like what happened yesterday. If you're there, you're guilty by association. What if you are there and it was a gun and in the struggle the gun went off and you were caught in the crossfire but you were just 'standing there'? REMOVE YOURSELF FROM SITUATIONS THAT CAN BECOME VOLATILE OR DON'T BE THERE TO BEGIN WITH!

In our minds, we are all invincible. I'll have one more cheeseburger because I won't have that heart attack, I'll speed around this truck on this blind curve because I never pass anyone here, I'll just threaten this person, but not follow through with my actions. It's not just kids that think they are invincible, it's everyone. I always thought my husband was a nervous nelly always worrying about stuff, but he's not, he's cautious, he doesn't take stupid chances. He's kind of like Ben Stiller in 'Along Came Polly'.

Take care of your bodies and minds, you are NOT invincible! No one is. And kids, stop being stupid and taking stupid chances. Stop taking the little things so seriously and focus on your future. The harder you work now, the easier your life will be. Also, reach out to your friends that you think they might be troubled. If you don't want to reach out, tell someone who will do something about it. Don't speed. Don't do drugs. Don't play with weapons. Embrace life and every breath you take - you only have so many before they run out.

To wrap this up, I just need everyone to send a little prayer into the universe for those who are suffering, those who don't make the right choices, and for kids these days in general.

Tacos made from Doritos?

When I first saw this monstrosity of calories, fat, sodium and a myriad of random chemicals I thought to myself, my daughter would eat this crap. Lo and behold, she LOVES them! It pains me to drive to Taco Bell to spend money on this junk food pouch. Now, she did me a solid by opting for the traditional 'three mile island' orange Dorito taco instead of the 'i just threw up in my mouth' cool ranch taco.

Thank GOD she doesn't eat sour cream, that would just send me over the edge. 

I made a note to myself months ago about writing about these insane new products, thinking it would be a flash in the pan and only construction workers (sorry if you're a construction worker, but I'm not talking to you. I'm talking to the icky construction workers that cat call. So, don't worry, that's not you) would eat these things. But no, it has hung around for way too long and I have had to take one too many trips to ask for the "Dorito taco, the orange one" and a "Frito burrito". Yes, my daughter is a glutton as well as completely gullible to the Taco Bell marketing department. I just keep thinking, someone is going to top this at some point. I mean seriously, what can outdo this? I'm sure it will be deep fried. Fall is right around the corner, maybe a deep fried burrito... Crap. Now I'm hungry. I want a taco.

Toiletgate 2013

Some things are just too easy to poke fun at, even if it pisses off the victim. Let me preface this by just saying, the victim in this story is just that - someone who LOVES to be the victim. I'm not being hateful, just honest! Gotta have one in every bunch, right?

So, there are these three bathrooms that are overly used at work. Yes, they are the only three bathrooms, but it seems that we have an office full of people who have chronic Montezuma's Revenge because people are always dropping a deuce. There are more times you have to hold your breath walking down the hall than not.

"Toiletgate 2013"! 

(Cue Jim Cantore with his blue windbreaker and the overly dramatic music)

3:15pm - What's that knocking?
3:17pm - Oh, someone is knocking from INSIDE one of the bathrooms... they're dumb.
3:18pm - Okay, someone is literally LOCKED inside the bathroom.
3:19pm - I know who it is!
3:20pm - Haha, she was going to leave early... again (those of you who know this situation... well... the term 'salary employee' is used loosely here.)
3:25pm - Now we have the majority of the office staff standing around the bathroom door trying to decide what to do.
3:26pm - Someone yells "Someone call a locksmith"... everyone stands around with blank stares on their faces... 
3:28pm - An employee, who is obviously sucking up and not grasping the humor of "Toiletgate 2013", frantically looks for a phone book. Who in the hell still uses a phone book?
3:29pm - Karma. The first locksmith that is called won't be back until February 25th!
3:30pm - The excitement of the event has subsided and everyone is making their way back to their prospective cubicles.
3:32pm - I start chronicling the event on Facebook - classic bitch move.
3:35pm - Wow, it's only been 20 minutes and the victim is starting to panic. Really? Because she wanted to leave early so bad? That's the perfect room to be locked in - although I was silently wishing the light switch was on the outside of the bathroom to really mess with her.
3:40pm - Sorry folks, all of the screw drivers on the planet aren't going to work. The door knob is flat out broken. Sorry lady! You're gonna have to wait... hope you don't have to pee... oh wait, that's okay.

3:42pm - 4:15pm - I got bored.
4:20pm - Come on folks, I have to leave at 4:45pm, I have to catch a shot of her as she comes out.

4:25pm - A handyman with ADD shows up to open the door with a myriad of tools. At this point, bubble gum and paperclips will come in handy to blow the door off.







4:30pm - I'm starting to panic now, I must get a picture... hurry up!

 

4:40pm - She's out! And I have five minutes to spare!

Well, it's a good thing she took her phone to the bathroom with her... at work. A little alone time with a game of solitaire or two?

Every time I personally come out of the bathroom now, I feel like yelling "Yes! I am victorious!" just because the bathroom didn't try to eat me.

So, "Toiletgate 2013" was unclogged, but like every breaking news story, it quickly fizzles and focuses on some other ridiculous mind numbing story. What's going on with Lady Gaga these days?

Damn it, Fat Man!

You know when everything is going great you get that feeling that something, just something, is going to mess it all up?!? Well, yesterday "The Fat Man" did just that! She messed it all up! I'm going to give her crap because she's divorcing me. The Fat Man hasn't worked for me for long, but it every second was jammed packed with excitement, psychosis, drama and confusion. It was a whirlwind of wine and zip fizz! So, she's gonna quite to try to get knocked up - she's nuts. We're talking about a chick who super glues her shoelaces together so they stay tied. Yes, she's very special. Oh no, maybe her husband should hide the superglue...

In all seriousness, I'm gonna miss her... a lot. I hope she gets knocked up, that her shoelaces stay tied and that all of her dreams come true because she is the kindest, most genuine, and happiest person I've ever had the honor to have in my life.

Burps, Farts & Boogers

Ugh. Have you ever eaten so much that your stomach starts to rebel? Like, you have air coming out of every orifice because there’s no where left in your body for it to go. It is not attractive for anyone, especially a female! To be burping and farting in sheer agony because your fat ass can’t put the fork down! I’m hating myself right now. Did I really have to get a second helping of spaghetti and meatballs? Really? It just makes me think of that scene in “Bridesmaids” where all of the girls are in the dress shop and they all get hit with Montazuma’s Revenge? Maybe staying up all hours of the night watching movies doesn’t help the ole’ bowels either… especially when you have to drag yourself out of bed before the sun comes up! Gotta love kids, the crap we do for them! So, with the burping and farting subsiding, a lovely cold might be settling in. Seems like everywhere you go, you’re in the middle of some phlegm factory! Little kids, big kids, grown adults, senior citizens, dogs, cats… okay, maybe not so much the dogs and cats. Regardless, I’ll be consuming mass quantities of NyQuil tonight! The inventor of NyQuil is (or was) one awesome dude… or dudette.

 Now they have a new thing called ZQuil! It’s NyQuil without the other crap, it just puts you to sleep! Yes, Teenstruction, you may have two ZQuils… at 7pm!!! Woo Hoo! You might see me on the podium accepting my “Mother of the Year” award in the near future, I know. Sometimes ya just gotta do what you gotta do. Time to gather booger supplies – Peace Out Alligator!

Is Enough really Enough?

So, when do you say enough is enough? I'm talking about everything in life, enough eating, drinking, partying, fighting, 'putting up with', paying off debt, working, working hard, laundry, cooking, laughing, crying, reminiscing, driving, caring, protecting, dieting, anti-wrinkling, shopping, being funny, being serious, fighting for what's right, fighting for what you want, fighting for what others want, proving your point, being comfortable, belonging, exclusion, loving, loathing, worshiping, wondering, researching, understanding, taking vitamins, saving, holding out hope, and most of all... paying attention.
I feel like I've been telling myself "enough is enough" my whole life! It seems as if there is so much going on in today's society, that people don't know the basics anymore. What ever happened to "tit for tat", "i'll scratch your back if you scratch mine", "an eye for an eye", "Do to others as you would have them do to you", etc. Obviously, chivalry is dead, that's been dead and gone for as long as I can remember. I know you shouldn't expect someone to to something for you just because you did something for them, but sheesh, come on! That's just human nature! You mean to tell me you would go out of your way to do something nice for someone and HONESTLY not expect (even deep down inside) a little something back? I know I've been on the receiving end of people's generosity and have not reciprocated, but I at least am nice to them! Have you ever done something for someone and in return they spit on you? Not literally, but figuratively. You just have to smack your head and say "what's the point if that's what I get in return!".
I guess our society has turned into one of "if I don't see it, I don't believe it". It's funny with parents, they are so into their kids lately that they don't think their kids can do anything wrong... ever! Well, sorry folks, you're kids are little shits and they're doing things that you couldn't imagine! Just look around, check out some of your kids friends Facebook pages... wow! The moral's of our society have really gone down the toilet. It has all completely spiraled out of control and I don't see it slowing down any time soon. I'll admit, I'm guilty. Being a parent is hard. Being a single parent is even harder!
I guess there are some things in life that you just can't get enough of, even if you get the same negative outcome each time. Albert Einstein was onto something when he said "Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results."

I guess you just have to keep fighting the good fight and giving it your all. Yeah, you just might get a big screw job in the end, but at least you got to an end! Also, just remember, most of the things that are in your life are temporary, good, bad, and ugly. So, if today is not going your way, tomorrow just might be a little better. OR, if you're having a great day today, don't worry, some asshole will probably screw tomorrow up for you.

Settle down, I'm back

Yeah, yeah, I know, where the hell have I been? The holidays consume me, as I consume them, all of them... mac & cheese, potatoes, cookies... wine... wine... wine... Five straight nights of wine... it was heaven!

So, my husband and I are supposed to be on an all-fish diet. That was supposed to start yesterday, ha. We went to Mexican for dinner last night - so, does fish swimming in cheese sauce count for diet food? It was fish after all...  So, we, or I, started up again today. Hopefully Teenstruction won't make chocolate chip cookies again tonight!

I find I come up with the best material when I'm at work. Yeah, I know, I should be working, but I'm a very fast typer / typist, whatever... I'm very fast! I have to type fast so I get all of this crap out of my head or I'll forget it. See, I took a detour to answer an email and completely forgot what I was going to say.

So, Jake and the Fat Man are talking about the Zone Diet. The Fat Man keeps telling Jake that she is going to do the diet, but Jake just ignores her. It's fantastic! You know typical girls have a deep hatred for other girls when they talk about each others' weight, but not these two - they thrive on calling each other "fat ass" and "chunky butt". Maybe they should be called "Fat Ass" and "Chunky Butt", nah, I wouldn't be able to keep them straight. I just consider myself absolutely flabulous with a side of fattitude! Mmm, yeah girl... three snaps in a "Z" formation!